Saturday, April 18, 2015

Writing practice: Life ain't fair.

Saying "Life ain't fair." like it is your answer to the world is saying "Justice is irrelevant."

Just because it isn't going to be fair doe not mean we don't have to try our best and give it a good fight. I think "life ain't fair" is not, contrary to popular belief, a mature or adult thing to say.

Indeed, perhaps those who say it perceive themselves to have experienced more disappointments than they were prepared for and came to this defeatist conclusion. It is often said with a tinge of self-righteousness, from a person trying to imply that you have experienced less disappointments than they and they are mocking your wounded idealism.

The statement proposes that the 'mature' and more 'knowing' attitude is that where one is cynical and does not believe in fairness. Telling a young person this doesn't encourage them in any way; it instead pushes them to give up on hope and accept disappointments and ultimately, stop fighting.

Perhaps, if I took a less cynical view, this statement is a poor attempt to offer comfort? It doesn't make sense to me this way. How is telling me that I am going to be hurt as long as I am in this world going to relieve the pain of my disappointment now? Am I expected to numb my heart and that is your proposed solution?

I think dampening your hopes and idealism or expecting the worst from this world constantly in order to avoid getting hurt or disappointed is a far, far cry from strength. I think it is a sign of fear and running away from reality.

My proposition is an ironic one, because 'life ain't fair' is supposed to represent THE harsh reality of this world, right? It's supposed to be the opposite of the childish idealism we have learned, as a society, will come to an end one day. It is almost an accepted convention that 'reality' will smother it.

I have never once understood or accepted this. I have rejected this idea and I will continue to reject this idea. Why should 'reality' be a solid institution when we humans were the ones who collectively built it together? We built this world to serve us. We own reality. I don't understand why reality seems to have taken over and why we have become defeated by it.

No. I want to work hard and control my reality. I want to live in a world I like and want to live in. Reality should be a fluid concept. Anything built by so many people should be controlled by so many people.

Dismissing your disappointment is akin to sweeping an issue under the carpet; while it may smother it, its corpse will remain in your mind, and after a while, your world will become a junkyard for these old wounds. Perhaps this is the world of a cynic.

I have been told that inside every cynic is a disappointed idealist - while it is a lofty idea, I believe inside EVERYBODY is an idealist. It just depends on whether we want to listen to that idealist or whether we have killed him a long time ago.

But I disagree with a defeatist and cynical attitude. I think it is a sin to tell someone who has hope in his heart to give up just because you decided to defeatist about life. Who died and made you guru? We all have our own ways to deal with disappointments. Giving in, while being a popular choice, is not the only one.

I like another maxim - there is no fixed answer to life, just the same as how I dislike Math questions. Open ended answers means there isn't right or wrong. My interpretation of how to get anything done is 'keep trying'! I think if we do not give up or give in, we will find our own way of doing that thing we wanted to do.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

So stop suffering.

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